Sunday, December 17, 2017
 
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Joey Wins Asparagus, Refuses to Endorse a Candidate

Joey Chestnut spearheaded another exciting tempura fried asparagus eating contest today and won the event by downing 8.8 pounds of the green vegetable.

Pat Bertoletti placed second with 7.14 pounds and Erik the Red took third place with 4.75, edging out Juris "my abs don't lie" Shibiyama by a quarter of a pound.

Despite numerous attempts by the press to get Joey to disclose his presidential leanings, the stud from San Jose refused to make any endorsement.